Fashion Is My Therapy

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” Mark Twain

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“Today, at the office meeting, they saw how wrinkled my pants looked. The threads strung upright from the seams on the bottom of my pants. I asked my wife to press on each pleat on the bottom, and to remove the lint. She shouldn’t have washed my work pants with her wool jacket, but she was running late for work. The thought of lint hanging loosely on my pants oozed saliva from my teeth, filling my mouth. My embarrassment was inevitable, life suddenly began pulsating through my veins,and all access was denied to my imagination who was in search of a reason to go on conducting the meeting.

I bolted from the meeting room to the bathroom feeling unnerved by the mirror on the wall swallowing my image. My hand curled into a fist crushing itself through the cracked surface. Like a flash of thunder strike the glass shattered, and each of my breath felt heavy hearted. I pounded harder to squash the sensations I felt inside my chest. Pain only surfaced once more in the face I masked, and fear crept into my consciousness. I am of very dark complexion with a hint of red which I saw as a burnt brick tone etched with wrinkles. It lacked a purposeful expression,but remains buried in deep sleep in my mind. The unnecessary skin that has found itself a home around my neck was covered with an Italian high collar, and a two button band for closure. No one saw the staggered skin that have folded with time. I’ve camouflaged myself with elegance and sophistication to hide my depression, and body imperfections.

My nephew says he wants to be like me. To be seen as expensive, and sophisticated, and feared for his ability to project power and dominion. “You think clothes does that to a person, I asked jokingly. “Yes!” he says proudly. I couldn’t deny his response, I am a hypocrite, all those years I have been possessed by fashion, without it, I am always in search of my true identity. When I’m not up to date with trends I find myself in search of a deeper meaning for my life, my purpose driven life which still remains a mystery to me. Yet, with an overpowering obsession to remain trendy,sophisticated, and well mannered I suffer from not knowing why I must always look like a gift well wrapped up for the public. Fashion has been that cathartic release from the naked emptiness I feel from my insecurities, to shine as a prominent person in the eyes of others. As a buyer for highend retailers, fashion is akin to a religious experience when I’m in fashion shows. My entrance into mystical ecstasy because my imperfections are not visible. It remains nonexistent as long as I’m clothed in the finest of fabrics.

Minutes passed before I regained myself. I called for the custodian to clean up the shattered mirror on the floor. When I pulled the bathroom door to leave, I overheard a couple of females that were at the board meeting in the hall saying, “wow,did you see what he wore?” I saw her pause for a second to catch her breath. Her friend knotted her head and said, “he is always fashionable, and is well mannered. I bet he has great confidence,and wealth.”

Feedback is greatly Appreciated!
Image Courtesy of Junn J. Autumn Collection

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